Life changes

There are some serious life changes happening in my life.  Some good, some hard, and some that just need to be kicked out the door.

We have decided to move to the north of Sweden.  We have been in Gothenburg area for the last five years.  I have so many emotions…… seriously  I am all over the place with my emotions. One moment I am thinking let’s get out of here now.  Then I am upset because I can’t imagine leaving all our friends and the place we call home.  Change is hard, but the weird thing is I think I secretly crave it.  Please tell me there are more of you out there like this.

I am not going to lie I have gone through some dark and lonely times living in Sweden. More than I have ever in my life.  When I look back I can get really discouraged.  At one point I remember saying to my self this has been the biggest waste in my life.  I haven’t  done a single thing I had hope to do (I know thats a lie). I sat there thinking.  Christy all of the friends you have and hang out with you have made yourself.  By putting your self out there.  You have given birth twice( 1 c-setion and 1 natural birth) in a forienge country, you have learned to master driving stick in a big city and driving on ice.  You can go grocery shopping and understand what you are buying.  Learning how to live with really horrible weather at times (remember I am from Hawaii).  I realized every single day at one point, I am completely uncomfortable!

        Uncomfortable every single DAY!

 You get the point. I realized in that moment I am so strong.  I thought about how many would have left, given up.

I made it!

I am still here and there is still so much I want to do.   I am slowly coming out. I pushing my weakness into strengths.  I just want to encourage you guys don’t give up.  I know its hard….. trust me I know, but also know you can do anything you put your mind to!  Be brave and you will realize how strong you really are.

 

Here is a song from Bethel

Slow down, take time
Breathe in He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

Sing praise, my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His words lead you on
Do not forget
His great faithfulness
He’ll finish all He’s begun

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory
And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory!

 

photo by elin click here for her work

Risk and Fear

 

modern, leaf, strawberries, sweden, pika, strawberries and cream,

 

“Risk opens the door to opportunity” -Blue Bloods

How good is this quote? So good it just slapped you in the face! Right! This is my motto for this season! I am really trying to brake out into new things this year.  I have been wanting to do some of these things for years (this blog being one of them) and I have just let day by day go by because of fear or scared of the risk.  It is almost stupid when I think about it.  Instead of being annoyed with myself and just decieded to take small steps daily towards the direction of where I want to be in the next coming year.  It’s hard but I think it will be so worth it.

My friend James just started his youtube channel click here.  His first video is about becoming an idea machine and basically developing your muscle in your brain.  Its pretty interesting. So you have to write 10 ideas a day on different subjects.  He is doing it off of a book which I can’t remember at the moment and I don’t feel like watching the video again, but I am interested to try this. I feel like I come up with ideas all the time but I fail to execute things.  Which is the worst part. If you don’t execute who cares if you have a brilliant idea. It is just an idea. So basically I just want to see if this inspires more creative outlets for me or just makes me feel overwhelmed with all my ideas.  Please just slap me.

I am not going to post what I write every day here because that I not what this space if for, I was however very surprised with how this one prompt made me think.   The prompt was write down things you don’t like and see how you can be greatful for them.  I like to think I am positive person and grateful for a lot things.

gustation,kids,pika,modern design,scandiic design, modern design,  I write often in a journal what I am thankful, but I never sit down and think what do I don’t like.  So it actually took me a while to find things.  After I sat down and did it I was pretty shocked at how it made me feel. A lot of things where changing habits.

So even more now I want to embrace fear, I want to feel it, touch it and walk through it. I want to take risks that take my breath away that make me have a dance party in my living (ok i have those everyday….really) I want to see how my small little nothing dream becomes a reality.  No longer in my head and heart but in my hand and in the hands of others.

Its time to set off!  Ok so what that really means is its time for some really hard work.

A year from now you may wish you had started today -Karen Lamb