Life changes

There are some serious life changes happening in my life.  Some good, some hard, and some that just need to be kicked out the door.

We have decided to move to the north of Sweden.  We have been in Gothenburg area for the last five years.  I have so many emotions…… seriously  I am all over the place with my emotions. One moment I am thinking let’s get out of here now.  Then I am upset because I can’t imagine leaving all our friends and the place we call home.  Change is hard, but the weird thing is I think I secretly crave it.  Please tell me there are more of you out there like this.

I am not going to lie I have gone through some dark and lonely times living in Sweden. More than I have ever in my life.  When I look back I can get really discouraged.  At one point I remember saying to my self this has been the biggest waste in my life.  I haven’t  done a single thing I had hope to do (I know thats a lie). I sat there thinking.  Christy all of the friends you have and hang out with you have made yourself.  By putting your self out there.  You have given birth twice( 1 c-setion and 1 natural birth) in a forienge country, you have learned to master driving stick in a big city and driving on ice.  You can go grocery shopping and understand what you are buying.  Learning how to live with really horrible weather at times (remember I am from Hawaii).  I realized every single day at one point, I am completely uncomfortable!

        Uncomfortable every single DAY!

 You get the point. I realized in that moment I am so strong.  I thought about how many would have left, given up.

I made it!

I am still here and there is still so much I want to do.   I am slowly coming out. I pushing my weakness into strengths.  I just want to encourage you guys don’t give up.  I know its hard….. trust me I know, but also know you can do anything you put your mind to!  Be brave and you will realize how strong you really are.

 

Here is a song from Bethel

Slow down, take time
Breathe in He said
He’d reveal what’s to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He’ll reveal all to come

Take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

Sing praise, my soul
Find strength in joy
Let His words lead you on
Do not forget
His great faithfulness
He’ll finish all He’s begun

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

So take courage, my heart
Stay steadfast, my soul
He’s in the waiting
He’s in the waiting
And hold onto your hope
As your triumph unfolds
He’s never failing
He’s never failing

And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory
And You who hold the stars
Who call them each by name
Will surely keep, Your promise to me
That I will rise, in Your victory!

 

photo by elin click here for her work

Risk and Fear

 

modern, leaf, strawberries, sweden, pika, strawberries and cream,

 

“Risk opens the door to opportunity” -Blue Bloods

How good is this quote? So good it just slapped you in the face! Right! This is my motto for this season! I am really trying to brake out into new things this year.  I have been wanting to do some of these things for years (this blog being one of them) and I have just let day by day go by because of fear or scared of the risk.  It is almost stupid when I think about it.  Instead of being annoyed with myself and just decieded to take small steps daily towards the direction of where I want to be in the next coming year.  It’s hard but I think it will be so worth it.

My friend James just started his youtube channel click here.  His first video is about becoming an idea machine and basically developing your muscle in your brain.  Its pretty interesting. So you have to write 10 ideas a day on different subjects.  He is doing it off of a book which I can’t remember at the moment and I don’t feel like watching the video again, but I am interested to try this. I feel like I come up with ideas all the time but I fail to execute things.  Which is the worst part. If you don’t execute who cares if you have a brilliant idea. It is just an idea. So basically I just want to see if this inspires more creative outlets for me or just makes me feel overwhelmed with all my ideas.  Please just slap me.

I am not going to post what I write every day here because that I not what this space if for, I was however very surprised with how this one prompt made me think.   The prompt was write down things you don’t like and see how you can be greatful for them.  I like to think I am positive person and grateful for a lot things.

gustation,kids,pika,modern design,scandiic design, modern design,  I write often in a journal what I am thankful, but I never sit down and think what do I don’t like.  So it actually took me a while to find things.  After I sat down and did it I was pretty shocked at how it made me feel. A lot of things where changing habits.

So even more now I want to embrace fear, I want to feel it, touch it and walk through it. I want to take risks that take my breath away that make me have a dance party in my living (ok i have those everyday….really) I want to see how my small little nothing dream becomes a reality.  No longer in my head and heart but in my hand and in the hands of others.

Its time to set off!  Ok so what that really means is its time for some really hard work.

A year from now you may wish you had started today -Karen Lamb

 

Mothers day a perfect day to get back in the game.

So if you are looking at the dates on this blog you can see I haven’t  been a good blogger. I was in the forest walking with my dog wondering why I felt like I had things to say but then would sit and trash everything I wrote.  I think I finally came to my conclusion…….I just want to ME!  Blogging was pressure, I felt like I needed everything to be perfect in order to blog.  Perfect pictures and amazing content.

I am so far from perfect…… I absolutely suck at house cleaning but can’t stand when the house is a mess.  That works really well…. not.  I drink way to much coffee and stay up way to late.  Most likely on my phone to much, I suck at knowing how to dress the kids for the snow.  I snooze way to long and then we run around like crazy people in the morning (this is my speciality).  I laugh when I really really shouldn’t it it is a real problem, and so much more. I don’t want to bore you with all my special gifts.

I am not perfect. So I am just going to be free!  If you like me……. you will stay……..you don’t you might be a troll I just have to keep deleting…… just leave.

 

So back to mothers day. I had an amazing mothers day. Mainly because I forgot it was mothers day and had zero expectations (for my husband lets all be honest). I saw my husband get up early for a Sunday and  thought “thats strange”. I tend to take the kids on the weekends and let him sleep (he is usually up by 5am on the weekdays).   I see he is getting up and taking the kids! WAHOO turn over, spread out and take over all the sheets.

All of sudden I hear them all coming back up stairs…….NO!  Then I hear Coco’s sweet little voice we can’t say Happy Mothers Day to her she is still sleeping. All of them come in sing  to the melody of happy birthday but changing it to happy mothers day. I love it. They bring me breakfast in bed and then my husband had a list of questions for the kids to answer. They where so funny and random.  My sons favorite thing I do for him is his laundry…..ummm maybe I need to work on that relationship a bit more. Or maybe because when I tell to clean his room everything ends up in the laundry. It was a beautiful Swedish day (lets just take a moment and savor that) ok good. All sunny days here need to be processed because there so far in between.  So me and the girls went out side and made necklaces.   Ahh they where so cute Majken is so random any color any bead, any color on the other hand Coco wants to count the beads, color coordinate and is meticulous.

minivikings,blog, blue and white, fika, sweden

Stefan then said the kids where going down to his dads which is nothing out of the normal (he is our neighbor). They came back and surprised me with baked cake. So we had a little fika and just hung out it was so fun. They set out my china and the girls just loved drinking out of them for the first time(I am praying don’t break with a smile).  It was so fun and totally what I loved… and I am determined to use the china more with them.   My present was plants.  Say what!   I am sure you are reading this and going what plants, yes I really wanted plants for the garden. Plants are expensive and not really top on our need list.  plus we had to stop and get milk shakes.  It was simple, it was sweet, and just what I need.  Happy Mothers Day to all you fantastic mothers.